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Showing posts from 2015

IT WAS AS YOU WANTED!

It was how important
you wanted for this to be,
how enormous
you wanted the wounds_
dented flesh, drawing blood,
horrific screams, calling pain,
quiet wimps, pleading for help .
It is how even after these years
you now wish for a guide.
But to where and from what start?
When reluctantly, you
pleaded for this calm to go,
you did not want peace.
At least not then.
It was the chaos you craved for,
the stampede,
the many to fall,
And see,
It was as you wanted it to be.You played the hero,
neglected a few broken troops.
You wished for the voice over
the radio,
the collected voice
to say this whole affair was over,
that's it had been a hoax,
that those who fell,
did so for nothing,
that the visible bones were
in vain, the hunger,
we bore,
that the children with their
large eyes could
close them,
sleep soundly and belge
after their dinners.
That we should not have bothered
fixing things we knew could not be fixed.
Divisions we created
and magnitudes of tribes,
chants we all longed to …

sans titre

You hear the sound of
boiling water,
just like the voices
in your head. Always grumbling,
how good enough
you never were.

"SALTPHOBIC" OR BETTER STILL; "I AM SCARED OF SALT"

It happened every time I cooked jollof rice

UNTITLED

It was in your eyes
those rêves,

RAINSONG

I was caught
in the rain
on my way to
someplace I can't
recall.

WE WERE OBLITERATED

They never teach us
why the mind wanders

APARTMENT II

Splash!
You hear the water drop
Splash Splash
Semi-Splash..

THE INTERVIEW

I look at the grey heart-shaped clock on the wall in front of me. The time is 1:20pm. The black tie is getting too tight on my neck. I release the knot a bit. My palms are clammy and sweaty. My forehead must be beaded with sweat.

WHERE WE WERE LOOKING

When she wasn't looking
she grew,

3:54

3:54
three fifty four
questions
and one,
none answered.

INBETWEEN

In between circles of confusing chaotic mumbles
please at least grant me a peaceful night rest
and save me the fight with my soul
me, myself and I or the silhouetted fantômes
of undead troubles lashing
out before me

POEM: THE NAG- AWAY

What is absolute perfection? Why am I always in thought of what to think? What I tend to do is what I feel is right Who I really am is what I spend every waking day discovering How I feel is the rhythm my heart beats to When I choose to cry is when I should be strong When I hold back the tears is when I should cry..

YESTERDAY

Ijeoma slapped me. Full on the face. Her hand covered my face, from my scalp to my chin.

THAT BANAL WORD, "LOVE"

So three weeks ago, I'm with two of my friends and one of
      them asks, "what is love to you?" I paused for few seconds
      before giving my answer (chill, I'll mention it later). Thing
      is, in those few seconds, the word, "love" flashed in my mind
      as experiences I had been through_ people I know (or knew)
      had been through also and not as a term as I had been asked.
      I had paused to compose those experiences in my own words...

CONFESSIONS OF AN UNKNOWN

For starters, you don't know me, you probably do or you
      probably would never get to know me sef (and yes, i
      deliberately added "sef" so you'd guess I'm Nigerian. "Sef"
      being a Nigerian colloquial and all), and yes again, I'm
      Nigerian......

OPENING VERY SOON..CHEECKO(BEST ONLINE TYRE)

CHEECKO, The Nigeria largest online tyre shop is here! What brand of tyres are you looking for? Dunlop, Michelin, Firestone, Deestone, Bridgestone, starfire, nexem, name them! The place to be is CHEECKO... our operational Base is Abuja... like us facebook: CHEECKO NIG LTD. Email us on cheecko_ng@yahoo.com. Contact number... +23470530550000.... website: In progress

JOURNAL OF AN UNEXPECTED COMPULSORY TWO WEEK MID BREAK

Monday June 1st
After ignoring all the "new month, new blessings" bc's on bbm, I managed to get four containers of water (containers, because I used both buckets and a jerry can) that'd last me two days, two baths and the usual dish washing I'm always obliged to do. We hadn't been opportuned to have power (i.e. NEPA light, for my brethren on the other side) for weeks and the water rush was almost a lifestyle for us, just as the expectation of the generator power by 7pm was.
Fast-forward….

FIVE REASONS SOME NIGERIANS WOULDN'T BE CASTING THEIR VOTES TODAY

Very much aware of the elections taking place today, we all
      know that some Nigerians wouldn't be exercising their
      franchise. I have sourced and come up with top five reasons
      some Nigerians wouldn't be casting their votes today despite
      the yapping, especially this week on the presidential
      candidates; GEJ and GMB..

      1. FEAR OF AN UNFAIR ELECTION

       This is the top on the list of the majority of the
      non-voting Nigerians. Yes, the internet has been carrying
      varial images of the "#don'tvotedon'tcomplain" theory but we
      all know that irrespective of all talk and promises, the
      votes would most definitely be tampered with (oops, sorry to
      burst your optimistic bubble)................. keep reading after the cut............

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?" OR BETTER STILL "I'M TOO LAZY TO EXPRESS MY SUPRISE"

Every single day I get out of my bed, I hear approximately thirty "Are you serious?-es" ("es" being the plural suffix).
From my rommates, to my neighbours, the gossipy girls I walk pass,my friends, the couple arguing at a corner and even myself (haha you thought I wouldn't mention myself?).
In my close observation, the "are you serious?" can be used in various situations depending on the speakers' state of mind.
An "are -y-o-u se-rious?!" usually with the syllabes of "you" and "serious" stressed indicates the speaker is totally suprised at seeing someone after a long time; friend or foe. E.g. (sees a friend after two years) Mike! Are yooou seeeeerious?!....is that yoou..?

THREE REASONS OUR INSTITUTION SUCKS

As much as this seems to be a shallow ish, I've been trying
      to go a step ahead in really understanding the challenges we
      face everyday in school (The University of Nigeria, Nsukka
      specifically), that I took the liberty of asking some
      students the question, "what do you think are the top
      three reasons this institution sucks?" Institution being
      "unn" as a school and student body?" I also took the liberty
      of posting their replies below, LOL without their permission.
      For privacy purpose, I only included their first names. You
      guys, please forgive me..so_ leggo..................................

ARE YOU A NIGGER?

ARE YOU A NIGGER?
I was battling with my assignment last night, Natural sciences precisely. Mehn! That stuff bores students in the faculty of arts. I turned on my data to read people's status update on BBM and guess what i saw, a heart-breaking status update "That's my nigger." Natural science is s horror. I had a reason for running away from sciences in high school. That status update is worse. It's funny how Nigerians use some slangs because we want to be "Americanized" and we want to fit into a society that doesn't accept us. .................

FRIENDS OF THE BEAUTIFUL 3

Slowly we fall asleep
Slowly we come awake

"Papa once told me why it rains"
A gust of cool breeze entered the room, like an eavesdropper. It threatened the flame within the lantern, but that was all it did. How wonderful it is that such little illumination can prevail over the vast space that is his living room, Collins thought. He decided to pay attention to the young lady he had brought into his house under odd circumstance. She noticed his renewed interest and continued her story.
"In the beginning, Earth and Sky were one as sister and brother. There was no space between them as it is today. One day, the Creator decided he needed a place to put things he had conceived. So he separated Earth from Sky. It was a sad day for the two who had known each other since the beginning of time. The mountains and rivers he put on Earth, and bright burning things he placed in the sky. There was one who tormented Earth during the day"
Must be the sun, Collins sa…

THE UNSCIENTIFIC CLAIM THAT EDUCATION IS A TRAP

I sat in the classroom, the Professor was talking but my mind was not there. My mind always wandered, always travelled whenever I was in class. The Professor was using lots of hand gestures(I always Imagined this particular Prof as a character in a Yoruba Movie- he was too damn melodramatic), he kept repeating  the word, "geo political", and if he had pointed to me at that moment to explain the term "geo political...", I'd have answered, "the geographical politics..". For Christ's sake why did such words exist? When I was fifteen, I was convinced the English language was in existence to specifically confuse me, or rather people like me. People, who had difficulty in spelling and to whom it was useless replacing the word, "abundant" with "profuse", "exuberant", and "copious" . 
The Professor kept talking and my mind was still wandering. I was somewhere in Asia, walking through the Great Walls (no, scrap that..…

THE WARMTH'S GONE

It's 6:45pm, dinner time. Everyone is not seated round the
      table, my mum folds her arms as she hums to hymn210(Rock of
      Ages), Kemi's head is bent and the reflection of light from
      her phone screen makes the dinning room a little less dark for me to see what Everyone is up to. Ade is not here, he's
      the one missing for dinner. He is supposed to start the
      generator outside but he is not there either. Dad is having a phone conversation, he's talking about some shares he had with some
      bank and how it was worth it. I think dad is giving Ade some
      time to re-think skipping dinner and neglecting to start the generator. We all know Ade is in his
      room, pretending to be "unconcerned" about "his" family. I
      count to hundred in my mind and cross my fingers, wishing Ade
      would just appear smiling for dinner in the middle of my count; probably between 80 and 95, when the tension within me would have…

20 REASONS TO JOIN AIESEC

If you have been curious about improving your leadership skills or joining the best student extra curriculum organisation eveer! then you're in luck because AIESEC is interested in YOU. Quickly go through these reasons to join AIESEC today.1. Go on a work abroad experience, develop your leadership skills.2.Network and meet new people in your university, around Nigeria and in 110 countries we are present in.3. Be a part of a network of ambitious and talented AIESEC leaders around the world and utilize this network for the rest of your life.4. Get the opportunity to travel to different places through the various conferences within and outside Nigeria.5. Find a suitable Mentor who can guide you through your career decisions and many life experiences.6. Cultivate a global mindset and develop entrepreneurial outlook in a flexible and customizable work environment.7. Increase awareness on things outside your text book through practical international experience and on the job learning.8.…

ROBBERY ALERT!

This is the first time I'm posting something of this nature. It's totally real! This event took place almost an hour ago but apparently, it all began at almost 7pm.Almost less than three hours ago, (about 7:30pm) according to some witnesses, a room in the infamous Isa-kaita was robbed. According to some witnesses, about three guys with arms (probably pistols), robbed this particular room of their phones, laptops and money (at least these were the items mentioned). I'm not blabbing about the robbery though, I'm more concerned with the injustice and madness of Unn's Security Department. We do hope that the Security Department arrives a crime scene on time. Plus they should stop their usual act of arresting and torturing innocent students, whom are "supposdly" suspects. Some innocent guys were taken in by the security, about thirty minutes after the robbery when the "said armed robbers" must have escaped. This is a clear example of incompetence and…

OPEN LETTER TO ALL UNN FEMALE STUDENTS

OPEN LETTER TO ALL UNN FEMALE STUDENTS
Dear UNN Female Students, Before I begin, I want to make it known that all UNN female students are beautiful, dark- skinned, light-skinned, petite or tall. I am not in the best of moods writing to y'all like this. For the number of years I've spent in this school, I have come in contact with various ladies, all with different personalites . I'm pained however that I should be addressing y'all through this medium. Before you start saying gibberish, please take time to read through this carefully and understand every word. First of all, I am most concerned with the rate of "forming" among ladies.( Hahaha) I'm sure that one's a popular blah- blah kinda topic y'all don't want to read but here goes.. So I'm at Frenzy (a popular eatery in UNN), waiting in line to make my order when a girl walks in. She had well-manicured nails and in order to rub it in the faces of the not-so-well manicured nails populati…

FRIENDS OF THE BEAUTIFUL 2

Friends Of The Beautiful (I)

The sun will rise
and hearts will burn for you,
the beautiful. Dark clouds waged war against the sun; upon victory they rendered the sky insipid. Meanwhile, the wind danced along the streets like the prodigal son it was. Whatever drew him to the window at that time, he did know. But there she was under the whistling pine, unsafe from the impending rain. Her unfaithful gown threatening to abandon her for the wind. Even her hands could not chaperone the wanton gown. Then there was the matter of her hair, every bit a tousled mass. It was indeed a most curious sight.
While he watched, darkness stole the room. He sighed as he turned to look for his matchbox. Actually, most of the looking was done in his mind as the absence of light forced his eyes into temporary disuse. At last a match was struck and the rain would defer no more. As the earth received thousands of raindrops, his heart flooded with thoughts about the girl he just observed. What worr…

FRIENDS OF THE BEAUTIFUL

FRIENDS OF THE BEAUTIFUL
      OUTLINE      Pa Omeje finds a girl dumped in his farm. At first, he
      considers taking her to the new priest but decides against it
      owing to his apathy to Christianity. The girl grows up to
      become Akuomah, a girl of moderate beauty and inquisitive
      nature. Owing to a mutual difference, she decides to leave
      the village and pursue her dreams of becoming a professional
      writer.
      Thus, she abandons her hometown and journeys to the
      University of Nigeria nearby. There, she stumbles into
      Professor Collins who offers her shelter. When she took ill,
      Professor Collins decides to investigate her background, a
      quest that would lead him to the nearby village of
      Umuagwu.
      There he discovers that the girl in his house was his
      daughter, a long-held secret kept from him by the only woman
      he loved - Diana.
      Back home, Akuomah faces the challenge of new relationships
      an…

TROUBLE

I was peachy and that was probably why I was still smiling at
      the strange guy whose words I couldn't make any sense of
      anymore. I had just received a bank alert from  Ecobank.
      My uncle had credited my account with #7500. It wasn't much
      but it would take me through the next fortnight; I was very
      frugal. I knew I had to call uncle before the day was over
      and inform him that I had gotten the alert plus I needed to
      thank him. The strange guy was grinning wide at me and said,
      "..so can I have your digits now?" I sighed inwardly, of
      course that was what the convo had been about. I was in a
      hurry, so I collected his phone from him and typed in my
      number, said a hurried goodbye, ignored his last comment and
      hurried off. I opened my handbag and brought out my cellphone
      and dialled uncles' number. He picked up and before I could
      tell him about the alert, he asked if I had &quo…

IT'S A DISASTER

Mr Chike was supposed to have arrived twenty minutes ago and his number wasn't going through either. I was growing frantic already and a zillion questions were popping up in my mind,no, seriously these questions were popping up in my mind because I could hear a "pop!" whenever a fresh question annouced itself; "what if mama had found out I had called Mr Chike to our house to discuss Azukas' educational future?" "What if Mr Chike changed his mind and did not find Azuka worthy enough to be helped?" "What if Fide, my idiotic brother had psychic powers and could read my mind,knew about Mr Chike and gone ahead to threaten him never to come an inch close to our house?" and etc. I decided to ignore these popping questions and dial his number one more time. It rang, thank God, and in his usual deep intellectual voice, Mr Chike answered and informed me that the bus he had taken was crawling. He pronounced the word, "crawling" very slowl…

FRESH OUT GRAD (IKECHUKWU NWACHUKWU)

It just dawned on me that I have just become a graduate. There are thousands of others in Nigeria who have just  become ' Fresh graduates ' and are moving into the labour market.              
       As we all know, the Nigerian labour market is now over-populated with Graduates but with no jobs and the graduating set of 2014 all over Nigeria would add more to the already overflowing bank of Jobless ones. Jobs would be found through connections and what not. For Those without connections what plans do you have for your future ? We are now living in a modernized era where carrying Files around and blaming the government is no longer permissible. Listed below are some suggestions on how graduates can survive in this 'cold' world.
* INNOVATION :
The incoming graduates face an uphill task of being innovative or risk joining the millions of jobless Nigerians.
Self-employment and innovation go hand in hand. For one to be self-employed he/she has to be innovativ…

A MARK CARVED INTO ROSES ( BY: MICHAEL UMOH)

A MARK CARVED INTO ROSES for JessicaThis is mine and yours... That my heart leaves a trail forgotten I touched a mark carved into roses You painted a hope bleak Perhaps, if I ignore the healing that time whispers I will miss my surrender ... And wail Wail like a virtue lost
MICHAEL UMOH

RECKLESSLY IN HATE WITH MY SISTER

"Tito get my glasses from my room!" screamed mother as  Kevin Hart was about to put the paws on the other guy I can't really recall his name in the series, "Real Husbands of Hollywood" I had recently downloaded. I sighed and wished that I could block out my mums' voice from my head, God! She was always disturbing, always screaming my name and always sending me on errands and all I wanted was to watch my movies or chat with my bbm friends in peace. Anyways I did have to get up and search for mums' glasses before she screamed my name for the sixth time, back when I was younger, I used to let her call for me till she forgot and called Nnenna, my elder sister, who would slap my cheek when she was through running mums' errands. She used to call me, "Devil pikin" or "cockroach" or any other insect she could remember. These days, Nnenna and I hardly see each other because she's hardly around anymore. Don't imagine the worst, she…

BOY SEGUN (welcoming y'all to a new year; Happy New Year guys)

It was early May on this side of West Africa, in the crowded city of Lagos, "Moulues"(those Yellow coloured buses) so numerous you couldn't count them with your eyes or fingers, hawkers so sweaty and smelly they mixed up with the vision of yellow and the brown skinned "peoples"; yes 'peoples' because they were way too many and brought back to mind the proverbial hardworking ants. Funny enough because Segun wasn't feeling at all up to the tasks of the day; he felt so lazy he wished he were back in his one room apartment, on his skinny –bug infested Vita foam, just sleeping or secretly trying out the latest blouses he stole- correction, borrowed from his girlfriend; Ada. Now that was way better than this his stupid mechanic job, he couldn't wait to quit and be free but he had to be patient for a few months; everything he had planned out needed patience. P-A-T-I-E-N-C-E.
  Segun, unlike most 21 year old guys, didn't dream of making millions,…